The moral of this story – don’t laugh at our poo face and definitely don’t take pictures of it to share with your family and friends.
So it’s funny to sit and watch me pooing – my face turning a scary shade of red, veins popping out of my head, the aggressive grunts and streaming eyes – hahaha, yes hilarious isn’t it?
You other babies know what I’m talking about.
“Oh lets turn her to face the other way so she can do it in private” Mummy says laughing.
Private? Hardly, did I forget to mention we have visitors today [insert visitor as appropriate].
“It isn’t very ladylike [Mini Sweaty Mummy]” oh I’m sorry Mummy am I embarrassing you?
So for the next couple of minutes I sit trying to fill my nappy with all eyes on me.
Right I’m done, lets get me out of this nappy. No?
Oh wait, sorry the Grown Ups are looking back over the pictures they have taken of the event (parents think they have to take pictures of everything, well guess what, NOT OF THIS YOU DON’T).
So we have 10 minutes of “Awww look at her face”, ” Isn’t she cute?” and the inevitable “This is one to show the boyfriend” which all the Grown Ups find hilarious, HAHAHAHA!!
And you wonder why we dislike you so much when we are teenagers. We create memories – somewhere deep in our brains we know, we remember something but we can’t tell you what it is because we can’t quite put our finger on it. Well THIS IS WHAT WE REMEMBER!!
Finally, “We best get her changed we don’t want her sitting in it” – really, you think? Please don’t let me interrupt you sharing my most undigified moment via WhatsApp/Instagram/Facebook/Twitter/[insert here as appropriate].
I’ve sat in my own poo for 10 minutes and Mummy audacity to act shocked that I’m upset, “Oh no [Mini Sweaty Mummy] don’t cry!” And don’t even bother singing to I’m not your friend right now, oh but here she goes The Grand Old Duke of York on repeat.
Mummy is cleaning up my bum with those horrid cold wipes, and she is smothering my bits in some cold cream but hold on…here it comes…
“Daddy, daddy quick, poo explosion over here” cue Daddy running over to help but soon running away heaving as projectile Korma paste flies across the room splattering the walls and Mummy’s face (slight exaggeration, maybe just a little on the changing mat, but enough to make Daddy sick) HAHAHAHA it is my turn to laugh.
“Oh [Mini Sweaty Mummy] no, don’t poo all over Mummy” well you chose to leave me 10 minutes from my last poo.
A couple of minutes later (I’m screaming the place down while Mummy attempts to clean me up, again, and Daddy can barely bring himself to look at me) and Mummy armed with a new nappy is about to finish the deed when…
“[Mini Sweaty Mummy] noooo”
“What has she done?’ This is Daddy shouting from the other side of the street (the room really, but you’ll start to realise I have a tendancy to exaggerate), just in case more Korma is involved.
“She is weeing now, get some clean clothes” Daddy finally gets to make himself useful and Mummy cleans me up again.
Grown Ups find the poo face funny.
Us babies, well, a poo explosion is really all we have… now if only we had pictures to share amongst our friends.
Love Mini Sweaty Mummy